Thursday, September 17, 2009
Giant prehistoric butterflies are gonna get me . . AHHH
I think I may starve to death. I have found myself listening to sappy love songs constantly. My mind wanders like an ant on safari, and the butterflies in my stomach won't let me eat. It has been a very long time since I have been aflicted with such a disease. If there is a cure now is the time to administer, while it is in the early stages. Any suggestions?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
the sky is falling
Update on the building I work in.
We got this e-mail the other day from FMB (building management government side) saying that there were some inspections going on in the Parking Deck. They have now closed 50 Parking spaces waiting on a few more Engineers to fly in and stand around to see if the bloody thing will fall or not. Then get a work crew from God knows where to come in a fix it. Cheaply I would imagine. Meanwhile we are parking in a lot that was too small to begin with but is now unrealistically 50 spaces lighter. I tell you what, parking blows if you aren't crippled in some way OR if you don't drive in at 5:30 am. Oh well. Inadverdent exercise. I am not going to act like I don't need it.
Speaking of, I joined the gym here at work. I went to a core training class, WOW. Pretty intense.
We got this e-mail the other day from FMB (building management government side) saying that there were some inspections going on in the Parking Deck. They have now closed 50 Parking spaces waiting on a few more Engineers to fly in and stand around to see if the bloody thing will fall or not. Then get a work crew from God knows where to come in a fix it. Cheaply I would imagine. Meanwhile we are parking in a lot that was too small to begin with but is now unrealistically 50 spaces lighter. I tell you what, parking blows if you aren't crippled in some way OR if you don't drive in at 5:30 am. Oh well. Inadverdent exercise. I am not going to act like I don't need it.
Speaking of, I joined the gym here at work. I went to a core training class, WOW. Pretty intense.
behind the times
Yes, I am a bit slow on some things. I am listening to my i-pod at work and Queen's "Pressure" came on. It makes me think some Vanilla Ice infected my i-pod every single time. I vaguely remember a lawsuit over the "sampling" debate. I would have cleaned VI's accounts. The start of the two songs are way too close.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
weekend
I had a bright idea this weekend. Get drunk, get clean. It didn't quite work that way. Let me explain... when I drink I am even more accomodating than when I am sober. I just say whatever, I do whatever. I figured I could get artificially excited about cleaning if I had a buzz, and then bully myself into getting the place straightened up.
So I started cleaning out the refrigerator one beer at a time about 4 on Saturday. I had delayed until then because the UPS man brought me a few books I had ordered. Honestly the cleaning thing was a backup plan for not getting my books. By the second beer I realized that I was drinking flat beer and sure enough it was out of date. Oh well, I just switched to Crown and Coke. By about 8 I wasn't reading or cleaning. I was not tipsy I was DARUNK. Stinking nasty hug your friends and drool on them drunk. So I put me to bed.
I finished my books, now I have nothing to read on break at work. That is probably a good thing, I would hate for my break to go a few minutes over.
In the last few years I have learned a couple of neat things:
If you read or watch television while cooking, you should probably get used to eating burned food.
Drinking and doing chores usually means you wake up hung over in a dirty house.
I think that is plenty of wisdom for today.
So I started cleaning out the refrigerator one beer at a time about 4 on Saturday. I had delayed until then because the UPS man brought me a few books I had ordered. Honestly the cleaning thing was a backup plan for not getting my books. By the second beer I realized that I was drinking flat beer and sure enough it was out of date. Oh well, I just switched to Crown and Coke. By about 8 I wasn't reading or cleaning. I was not tipsy I was DARUNK. Stinking nasty hug your friends and drool on them drunk. So I put me to bed.
I finished my books, now I have nothing to read on break at work. That is probably a good thing, I would hate for my break to go a few minutes over.
In the last few years I have learned a couple of neat things:
If you read or watch television while cooking, you should probably get used to eating burned food.
Drinking and doing chores usually means you wake up hung over in a dirty house.
I think that is plenty of wisdom for today.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
holiday
Is it really only Thursday? This week is taking forever! When it is over I am gonna prop up, pop a top, and re-lax. Working in a cube farm is so exhausting. I am too close to everyone and they all want to tell me something or ask me something. They talk to their friends on the phone about the most inane things EVER! To avoid this I usually listen to my i-pod on full blast. I name my stuff. My i-pod is names Isaac. I like it, Isaac the i-pod. My SUV is named ACE. My phone is Barri. Barri is a RAZR.
As a federal employee I work in a huge office building. We just moved in the last decade to a new place. Not that that is a big deal, but with the end of the Clinton Administration and Dan Quayle leaving his office-the slum lord that rented our old building to Uncle Sam lost his DC contact and they built another building for us with a property management company from another state. The Federal Government doesn't own the buildings they operate out of except maybe the post offices. They rent them for 30 years or so and then move on. Word is, the rent here is some insane amount like $100,000.00 a month. It is a "state of the art" modern "green" building that was rumored to cost about $150 million dollars to build. I could have done it for less and given them more for their money. But anyway. People in my agency don't get fired often, sometimes jailed and even more die at their desk, most retire after 30 to 57 years of employment. You think I am kidding about the 57 years--I'm not. Nor am I stretching it about the dying either. There was a man who came into the office early everyday and read the paper. He had one of those jobs where nobody bothered him. After 2 days of him reading the paper someone wanted to talk to him and found his empty shell stiffened by disuse. He had a heart attack and kicked it proped in his desk with the paper laid out for perusal.
A gentlman fell the other day. He is epileptic and chooses to self medicate with alcohol. Epilepsy medication and alcohol don't mix. He tends to go into a seizure and fall face first. He usually smashes his nose, bumps his head or does something that causes copious amounts of blood to be spilled onto the floor. He falls about once a year. I find it very hard to feel sorry for him. He needs help- the company will pay for it.
Back to that holiday thing. I am cleaning at some point this weekend. My junk room is overflowing. I am embarassed for anyone to see it especially my mother. Oh goodness that would be the never-ending carp session. I can hear the echo of her disdainful snear already.
I think I will clean the fridge too. I'll start by drinking all the old beer in there. Then I can move on to the cheese and yogurt. What? You didn't expect me to just move all the stuff and use a cloth or sponge to actually wipe away that eighth of an inch of gunk that has adhered to the bottom of the shelf did you? Do I look crazy?
As a federal employee I work in a huge office building. We just moved in the last decade to a new place. Not that that is a big deal, but with the end of the Clinton Administration and Dan Quayle leaving his office-the slum lord that rented our old building to Uncle Sam lost his DC contact and they built another building for us with a property management company from another state. The Federal Government doesn't own the buildings they operate out of except maybe the post offices. They rent them for 30 years or so and then move on. Word is, the rent here is some insane amount like $100,000.00 a month. It is a "state of the art" modern "green" building that was rumored to cost about $150 million dollars to build. I could have done it for less and given them more for their money. But anyway. People in my agency don't get fired often, sometimes jailed and even more die at their desk, most retire after 30 to 57 years of employment. You think I am kidding about the 57 years--I'm not. Nor am I stretching it about the dying either. There was a man who came into the office early everyday and read the paper. He had one of those jobs where nobody bothered him. After 2 days of him reading the paper someone wanted to talk to him and found his empty shell stiffened by disuse. He had a heart attack and kicked it proped in his desk with the paper laid out for perusal.
A gentlman fell the other day. He is epileptic and chooses to self medicate with alcohol. Epilepsy medication and alcohol don't mix. He tends to go into a seizure and fall face first. He usually smashes his nose, bumps his head or does something that causes copious amounts of blood to be spilled onto the floor. He falls about once a year. I find it very hard to feel sorry for him. He needs help- the company will pay for it.
Back to that holiday thing. I am cleaning at some point this weekend. My junk room is overflowing. I am embarassed for anyone to see it especially my mother. Oh goodness that would be the never-ending carp session. I can hear the echo of her disdainful snear already.
I think I will clean the fridge too. I'll start by drinking all the old beer in there. Then I can move on to the cheese and yogurt. What? You didn't expect me to just move all the stuff and use a cloth or sponge to actually wipe away that eighth of an inch of gunk that has adhered to the bottom of the shelf did you? Do I look crazy?
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